HOW TO BE SUPPORTIVE OF CANCER SURVIVORS

Many times, we think we mean well, when we say, “OOOOHHH, Yes, my aunt had cancer and she died”. Or “my grandmother had cancer, but you know how she suffered so much.” Or maybe, “I know it because my mother had cancer and I had to take care of her.”

Well to be honest, if someone trusts you enough to share this horrible situation with you, honestly tell them, I do not know what to say, but that is shitty.

How can I support you?  The following are some simple suggestions on how to be supportive:

Bring them their favorite meal: The last thing fighting survivors want to think of is cooking but they have to eat.

Get their favorite movie and share viewing it with them: They need quiet company and laughter, not pity.

Take out their garbage: The smell alone will bother their tummy while in treatment. Simple but greatly appreciated.

Help them de-stress: Pay for them to have a massage, pedicure, and/ or manicure.

Do their laundry: Anything tedious takes away their strength and time to heal.

Ask to see their photo albums: Happy memories will boost their immune system.

Offer to take them back and forth to treatment. Many times, people do not have the courage or time, so they stay away.

Here is a real, simple one: send a card that you are thinking of them.

Pick up some groceries for them.

People overlook this one, offer to pay one of their medical bills.

Insurance never pays the total amount, and now while they fight for their lives, while they may face financial ruins.

Cancer can hit anyone in their lifetime. It does not have to be genetically inherited. It does not matter how healthy of a lifestyle you may have had, and it does not discriminate on age, gender, and/ or ethnic background. There are many treatments, but none makes you feel like you are in control of your life anymore.

As a matter of fact, many will feel like you have lost your decision-making power so they will speak above you and even make decisions for you without soliciting your consent. You might even need lawyer (more money) if your employment starts wanting to get rid of you since they may not observe the Federal Disability Act, never mind implementing it.

Cancer is not contagious. Many people will no longer touch or hug a cancer person. Give your loved one a hug and assure them you are on their side, no matter what.