SIXTEEN REASONS WHY I FEEL OFFENDED

I felt offended when a classmate in graduate school said, “you are lucky to have a white husband so he could raise your status in society.”

I felt offended when my supervisor told me “you are not worth Florida’s taxpayers money”.

I felt offended when you discussed my car with my husband when I am the one paying for it.

I felt offended when you told me I was “lucky to have Italian blood because you know how Puerto Ricans are.”

I felt offended when you thought public assistance is mostly Latin people.

I felt offended when you told me, “not to say she’s my sister because she is darker.”

I felt offended when you thought I needed you to pay my rent.

I felt offended when you thought somebody must control me.

I felt offended when you are telling me to go back where I came from.

I felt offended when you tell me to succumb to the norm, which I will not.

I felt offended when a hair stylist said, “I could not do my hair because it was coarse.”

I felt offended when you dare ask me, “where are you from?”

I felt offended when you focused on my accent.

I felt offended when you tell me “not to aim so high because I will be disappointed.”

I felt offended every time you behaved as if my skin color gives you rights to belittle me.

I felt offended when you did not hire me because you thought clients would not come to a therapist with an accent.

My journey in life, has given me my share of offenses, and then some, while I continue to contribute to the betterment of it all. Were it not for my grandma’s wise words: “if they do not pay your rent or buy your undies, pay them no mind!” Coming from her was all I needed.

A person who validates your worth by asking you to contribute to society is a rareness all its own, as opposed to someone who discourages you based on their fears.  As I reach the latter part of my life, I try not to offend but support and encourage because, as you see, life hands you many hurdles and the only way to jump through them is to be strong, determined, and focused on your goal. If someone were to ask me, how do I deal with all these undermining, discrediting and shameful social actions, I remember her saying:

“Who pays your rent and who buys your undies?”