Interview #27: NORMA SANTIAGO

Norma Santiago was a loving mother who fell victim to gun violence perpetrated inside her children’s public school at the hands of her estranged husband. She was the first person I ever knew whose life was taken.

My father and Norma’s husband were both law enforcement officers and our families were bonded one summer, but not for long; Mom noticed Norma’s husband was “not the nicest” and though my father was no boy scout (he was – but you get what I’m saying), and he agreed. During our last shared family outing, I was never able to forget…

I didn’t like Ferris wheels. I volunteered because I could see she feared going up with him alone. 

A milestone, in the building or development of my young self-confidence, I felt proud that I could help someone. 

That moment was immediately followed by a sobering sense of dread. While we were suspended in the air, I watched his eyes as he mentally fantasized about pushing her over. Being from the hood, guessing at what was coming next — the struggle for survival.

He never pushed her out of the car that day, but I’ll never forget his eyes, full of rage.

Ten years old and smart enough, I knew something bad was going to happen. I told mom he was going to kill her. I remember her taking me seriously; that was the last time we saw them, but I continue to see his eyes forever.

A handful of years later, she was gone.

There’s a blog I found memorializing her life and news coverage about her passing. I teared up when I found the page, there she was, in a bumper car, at an amusement park. 

Part of my life is dedicated to advocating for vulnerable women and children as I had once been. Being honored as a storyteller this coming month I reflected. Whose story is left to tell?

I decided Justice is best served in the form of a celebration of one’s life. Norma, may you rest in peace you have not been forgotten. 

The following is an anonymous contribution by someone on the site of the murder: 

1.     How did the act of violence that culminated in Norma’s passing affect your life? The act of violence changed my life because it was the first time, I remember experiencing trauma. I couldn’t articulate that as a child, but I distinctly remember knowing something evil just took place. I remember feeling scared and I remember seeing the body bag being rolled out of the door. I remember thinking “she’s dead” there were people everywhere, and so much confusion. 
2.     What did you learn that day? I think what I learned that day was that men are dangerous. That I should fear my future husband. No matter how long it’s been, I always think back to that man taking his wife’s life. I feared men. I feared having a husband.
3.     What do you remember overall? My overall impression was fear. I think there was fear instilled in me that day that has never left my body, now I’m triggered when I must do active shooter drills at work. 

I was 7 years old back then; I was in second grade. I knew the family because one of their daughters was my classmate at the time and the other daughter was in my sister’s class. I haven’t spoken to them since 1997.